Photo courtesy of Sony Music Entertainment

Written by Steve Bielefield

As we move into 2015, we can’t help but take a look back on the previous year and all the memorable times. Good times with friends, troubles at school, loves gained and lost, the Noodle Incident, etc. And since this is a column where I talk about movies and music, I figured we should take a look back at the best and worst of those. Today’s article will be for the music we (well, mainly I) loved and didn’t love this year. By the way, I’ll be using pop songs from Billboard’s Top 100 list; otherwise the entire “Best” list would be songs from Foo Fighters’ new album. So without further ado, here are the Top 5 Best and Worst Pop Songs of 2014.

Worst #5: Taylor Swift – “Shake It Off”

2014 truly was the year of Swift. It’s unbelievable how she was so dominant this year, especially when half her success was from one of the stupidest and most obnoxious songs I’ve heard. “Shake It Off” is the worst example of an earworm. The writing is juvenile, the beat is so annoyingly catchy it makes me want to rip out my eardrums, and the very point of the song is counterintuitive (as I covered in my review). I recommend you avoid it. However, if you need your T-Swizzle fix, might I suggest an alternative…

Best #5: Taylor Swift – “Blank Space”

I couldn’t bring myself to hate this song, no matter how hard I tried. It’s the polar opposite of Swift’s previous hit, in the best way; a slower, more methodical beat (which admittedly lost its luster after a while, but still), some really good lines, and an actual degree of self-awareness from Swift. It’s actually quite impressive. I’m not entirely sure how much is actually her influence (seeing Max Martin credited as a writer is generally a red flag) but whatever it is, it’s working. Here’s hoping that this is a sign of things to come from Swift.

Worst #4: Maroon 5 – “Animals”

Maroon 5 (or, more aptly, “Adam Levine and Some Other Random Guys No One Cares About”) has always been stupid, but at least in their early years they were a lovable kind stupid. Since then, though, Adam Levine replaced his voice box with a squeaky toy, and their songs have gotten more idiotic and immature. Worse, their songs (particularly “Animals”) have taken on a… rather disturbing vibe. Don’t know what I mean? Just imagine someone who doesn’t look like Adam Levine saying, “Baby, you think that you can hide? I can smell your scent for miles.” You might argue it’s supposed to be disturbing, but that just confuses things further. Who is this song for, and what is it about? Aside from that, it’s just annoying and dumb.

Best #4: American Authors – “Best Day of My Life”

This one may be construed as cheating, since it’s technically from 2013, but it wasn’t a big hit until 2014. If you want to complain about that, just imagine me blowing a raspberry at you. “Best Day of My Life” is a song that I can’t help singing along with (very poorly) in the car when it comes on the radio. I won’t lie and say it’s a masterpiece, but it’s an uplifting and happy song that I have a lot of fun with and never really got tired of. It brightens up my day whenever I hear it.

Worst #3: Magic! – “Rude”

I liked this song when I first heard it, but upon subsequent plays I began to despise it. The reggae-esque beat is nice and fresh, but the front man’s voice began to get grating, and the writing is boring and whiny. Here are my thoughts whenever I hear this song: “Dude, quit whining. You asked the father for permission to marry his daughter, and he gave you a straight answer: ‘No.’ Just accept that and move on with your life. Wait, are you going back to ask him again? What kind of moron are you? And now you’re doing it a third time? Are you insane?”

Best #3: Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars – “Uptown Funk”

Usually I don’t know what to think of the practice of giving a producer top billing. Sure, they make the music, but we all know that the singer is who people are there to see (well, hear), so it seems desperate. But with “Uptown Funk,” there is no confusion. Yes, Bruno Mars’ energy and vocals are integral, but equally so is Mark Ronson’s perfect funk beat. They blend perfectly, and overall this song is so much fun, and if you catch me when I’m listening to it, be sure to have your camera, because I’ll be dancing like an idiot.

Worst #2: Iggy Azalea – “Fancy”

I feel like I should like Iggy Azalea more than I do. She’s not terrible; she’s got some halfway decent flow, and she gets some (not many, but some) points for being a female rapper in a male-dominated genre. But her biggest hit this year, “Fancy,” was not the best intro to her. The beat behind it is overly simple and not very memorable, the chorus doesn’t seem to truly fit with the verses, and the writing makes me wonder if she knows the definition of “Fancy.” On top of all that (and I admit this is extremely petty), her voice is distractingly obnoxious. It sounds fake, and would probably be offensive if I could figure out what the heck she’s trying to sound like.

Best #2: Walk the Moon – “Shut Up and Dance”

I’m not sure how many of you heard “Shut Up and Dance,” but you shouldn’t let it pass you by. I wish I’d reviewed it to give it some amount of attention, but alas, I’m kind of dumb. As someone who loves music from eras he wasn’t alive in, this is an upbeat, very fun throwback to 80’s pop and disco songs of olde. The story is a simple, almost cliché, “We fell in love on the dance floor,” sort of thing. However, if done right (prime example: Usher’s “DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love”), it stands out from the others. With “Shut Up and Dance,” the vocals and production are great, and it’s just so enjoyable. This song got me interested in the group, Walk the Moon, and I quite like their material. Check them out.

Worst #1: Nicki Minaj – “Anaconda”

Songs like this make me beg for more female rappers on the radio, because it is just depressing that Nicki Minaj and Iggy Azalea are the only ones getting any consistent airplay. “Anaconda” is poorly written, grating, and trying too hard. Worse, it not only wastes its sample of “Baby Got Back,” it diminishes my view of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s masterpiece. This song makes me angry, and the worst part is, it’s still stuck in my head. MAKE IT STOP. PLEASE.

Best #1: Enrique Iglesias – “Bailando”

There’s not much I can say, other than, “I love this song.” It’s catchy, it’s fun, and probably the most genuine of Enrique Iglesias’ songs. This is a song that I not only still listen to months after I first heard it, but I actually learned the lyrics to the Spanish version of the song (which is better than the English version, which is plagued by Sean Paul not shutting up). It’s a little insane that there are four versions of this song (English, Spanish, and two different Portuguese versions), but that’s fine because I can’t get enough of “Bailando.”

Hope you enjoyed the list! Check back next week when I go over the top movies of 2014! And Happy New Year!